For the last six months, I’ve been broken. I’ve been lost. I’ve been numb.
I feel nothing but frustration. I feel nothing for my family, friends, husband… no one. I feel like everyone is a stranger.
No one knows what’s wrong. I’ve been to a psychologist, a psychiatrist, a family doctor, and an OBGYN.
I am on my third set of depression pills. I’ve ruled out any major hormonal or thyroid issues. My OB doesn’t think it’s postpartum. No one has a clue why I’m just blank.
My marriage fell apart. My husband filed for a divorce. After the separation, I went looking elsewhere for any sort of stimulation, which I never found.
My husband wants to work things out. I know I owe it to our marriage to try. I just don’t knowhow to try, if i don’t feel anything, let alone love.
Every once in a great while, I get a moment of clarity and be back to my old self. I’ll feel all of the old things and I can see the excitement on my families face. Then I see the hurt and disappointment when that moment of clarity, disappears.
I feel so helpless.